aniay

AAAAAAAAH!
(Wish that a bit of screaming would help my nervousness)
In about six hours I'll have my driving licence test (first theory and the n practice)
I'm so nervous my hands are shaking, I'm trying to calm with listening to the music and it helps a bit but the shaking in my hands won't subside.

Yesterday I had a 2% mistake rate and today I already have abou 5% ;_;
And after yesterday driving I'm completely terrified. I know I was to sure of myself earlier and everyone tells me to take it easy because I'm not expected to pass on first attempt but I CAN'T CALM DOWN!



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

My fandom live seems to jump from one series to another. Lately I was in Manga and Anime mode, hunting all the latest yaoi, yuri, ecchi, josei mangas I could find and the world of the wizard lied deep inside me untouched but yesterday I felt that my M&A tank is full.
Apparently I lack the fuel in HP tank so now I'm hunting "Know it alls" searching for snarry stories in hope I will find inspiration to contiune the twins fic.
Damn, I have to search for my muse once again, she got lost somewhere between my head and the piece of paper I write on.

It seems that my spine is a mess.
After it have hurt me for the last few weeks,I did an x-ray and it's in pretty bad shape.
I won't be able to work in some harder jobs, and taht means it will be hard to find any job at all :/
Now I'm on a sick leave. Good point is: I have a bit more time for my daughter and for myself. Bad points are: constant headaches, stiffing legs and arms. Not nice.

To lighten up this post I met a guy (my hubby's co-worker) who has laaaaaarge anime collection. ^__________________^
Me is happy. Me watched Code Geass - first series and is watching xxxHolic now.
There is nothing lige a good anime to make you smile. :P (And a person you can talk to about it ;p)

Yup, I'm ill, my hubby is and my daughter to. I have a sick-leave to sunday (so probably this work won't last for longer than month, Crap!) But I'm almost daying with 39 degrees teprature in bed, terribly sore throat, full sinuses and awful cough... you can imagine right?
My daughter after three days of going to creche got ill to now she is ill with me and my huuby is ill probably to make aus feel better... or maybe he just cought it from us.
Anyway It's good I have my notebook, or I'd be grounded in my bed without any contacy with the world.

XOXO (or maybe not because you can catch the flu too)

I feel bleah and ouch and duh and all other uninteligent things.
It's a mind-bug I call Bubuś. (You pronounce it like buhbuh or sth)
I have to write and after reading the article about the plot and I feel I can't write, and I have period and I really have enough and I need a kick of positive an creative energy.

Moving, redecorating, cleaning, wiriting, loving....
It seems I have so many things ongoing that i really wander how I manage it all.
Another chapter of ST is almost finished (it's written but I'm not sure I should end it in a place I did, so it should be off to beta in few days.

For now I'm uterly enchanted by 'Brokeback Mountain' I don't usually watch such movies (meaning romances) And hell but I loved it, and i don't remember when was the last time I cried somuch while watching movie. It was so moving, and all the emotions, passion, desires are so well played One can think they are reall (I smell RPS here XD)
Loved it.
I could write so much more by my english is not good enough to desribe my feelings about the movie. so go watch it, its full of love love and even more love.

So I have a job (shop selling moto-parts), I'm helping in the laundry and in the office as well. It's pretty nice job and after it I feel so full of energy, and self-confidence, I think I'm glowing with it:P
My mother in law just put a needle in my ballon of good ennergy and my dad tooday puuled it out, i felt like all of positivenes pfffff'ed out of me.
I feel angry, because he said he don't trust me and my hubby, and when I understand lack of trust towards me, my hubby is the most trustworthy person I've ever knew.
God I need to see him finally and hug him and kiss him and do all this things, my mind supplies my dreams with, to him. I miss him and I'm horny. Jizzz why the world is made of shitty rules that make young people be separated from their loved ones only because they have to live.


CHanging the subject, sixth chapter of ST is off to beta seventh is already writing itself ;)

My washing machine is slightly overworked today, seven loads of laundry today... And I feel hmmm tired and blah and I really hate doing dishes.
Weather decided to boil us in our own sweat and I really miss colder Ireland.
My head is kinda empty right now and I feel a need to fill it up with something.
Blah

OK so few das ago I talked with and old friend of mine via GG (Most popular polish instant messenger) and thanks to a little mistake i indicated that he change orientation (My god I feel stupid) thankfully he knows how my brain works and he just laughed at my mistake. He did but I'm feeling that my head is little bit to disturbed by Yaoising everything around me. What is worse I do it unconsciously.
What else my brain is lately inhabited by sexy redhead/brown-haired twins. It's nice to have them when I write (I've got many ideas from them) but sometimes they are bothersome. Last Night I had this really strange dream about them and It's bugging the hell out of me (as my dreams are usually something more than wild fantasy of my overactive imagination)
I will have to get used to them or get rid of them as soon as I finish writing.

Talking about writing I have my Phelps Twins fic going and almost getting to the Final scene, and my Weasley Twins fic slowly flowing. Of course when I ask Twins to help with smut scenes they are telling me to fuck off. (Will have to do some coercion or bribing or threatening or all three in the same time)

About one week ago a friend of mine who is studying to become Literature theoretic (or something of this kind) red some of my original fiction and convinced me to work with them (they were written long long ago with me being completely inexperieneced writer) work with them and try to publish them. I was like "wow you really think They are worth it?" And She smiled and said that yes they were actually pretty good. I still don't believe her (as I'm slightly self conscious but I'll work on them regardless. The only problem being the fact that my Polish language skills have deteriorated and I'm thinking to rewrite them in english.

I've ended up stucked in the hospital, with f*****g stone on my kidney. They shattered it and now I have stent in my insides that is awfully uncomfortable and painfull and it will stay for few weeks >__< Usually patients are free to go after 24 hours but almost 40 centigrades fever made me stay there 5 days. Awfull.
I made an AMV and drew little tiny picture of Ichi and Hichi. If everything go as i plan I will have an entry for bleach_bdsm contest
And this is my AMV
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BICF5jKnhOU

And my daughter is ill, and she does't let me go anywhere without her, and every time I try to put her to sleep there is wild screeming, kicking... I'm tired and my kidney and bladder just hurt more when I carry her to much.- -'