aniay: (Default)
I don't know about you but it's obvious to me.

Hubby feels obligated to earn more money but it equals the fact that when his friend, that he works for, called today for him to come and drill two FUCKING holes he went.

While earlier he said that he'd rather stay home and not go to my parents for dinner.

I wanted to spend this day together SO i didn't went either even though I wanted to.

But now that his friend moves a finger he's following like a fucking puppy.

I HATE THAT!

WHY am I always doing what HE wants? WHY what I want is not important.

Why am I having depression again? *hides under the quilt and sobs*

AAAAAAAAH!

Jul. 31st, 2009 09:21 am
aniay: (bitchy ouran)
AAAAAAAAH!
(Wish that a bit of screaming would help my nervousness)
In about six hours I'll have my driving licence test (first theory and the n practice)
I'm so nervous my hands are shaking, I'm trying to calm with listening to the music and it helps a bit but the shaking in my hands won't subside.

Yesterday I had a 2% mistake rate and today I already have abou 5% ;_;
And after yesterday driving I'm completely terrified. I know I was to sure of myself earlier and everyone tells me to take it easy because I'm not expected to pass on first attempt but I CAN'T CALM DOWN!



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
aniay: (bitchy ouran)
Suming up the movie: I feel like they tried to make up for the lack of quality with quantity of funny moments. If someone want's commedy feel free to go If you want good Book adaptation or good movie you will be disapointed.


SPOILERS AHEAD!



Ranting and overall unhapiness below


Read more... )
aniay: (hug)
I'm damn sad. Me and my hubb had a bit of dissagreement yesterday which ended in fullblown word-fight and I ended up sad, teary and with my heart broken.

It's good there are people who still understand me but I fucking need a hug.
Online talk is not enough :/:/:/
aniay: (Default)
My fandom live seems to jump from one series to another. Lately I was in Manga and Anime mode, hunting all the latest yaoi, yuri, ecchi, josei mangas I could find and the world of the wizard lied deep inside me untouched but yesterday I felt that my M&A tank is full.
Apparently I lack the fuel in HP tank so now I'm hunting "Know it alls" searching for snarry stories in hope I will find inspiration to contiune the twins fic.
Damn, I have to search for my muse once again, she got lost somewhere between my head and the piece of paper I write on.

Life

Jun. 7th, 2009 09:41 pm
aniay: (bitchy ouran)
It's unfair reeally, life it is.
It seems that having great daughter and loving hubby should recompensate me everything that is wrong with my life.
Many things are falling apart, like my heart for example as well as my health. Life is throwing at me all the bad things.

I just got a bit happier just now, Someone just got my telepatic waves and got online.

Anyway, my daughter has chickenpox but it seams it's almost over already, few spots here and there, she really got it light. But because my parents was changing window she probably caught a cold and now she is sneezing and coughing and snoot hanging of her nose. Not a pretty picture, and I'm a bit afraid because colds ad chickenpox can be dangerous, and my peadiatrician is away from town ;_;

Wish my luck with bearing with life.
aniay: (Default)
It seems that my spine is a mess.
After it have hurt me for the last few weeks,I did an x-ray and it's in pretty bad shape.
I won't be able to work in some harder jobs, and taht means it will be hard to find any job at all :/
Now I'm on a sick leave. Good point is: I have a bit more time for my daughter and for myself. Bad points are: constant headaches, stiffing legs and arms. Not nice.

To lighten up this post I met a guy (my hubby's co-worker) who has laaaaaarge anime collection. ^__________________^
Me is happy. Me watched Code Geass - first series and is watching xxxHolic now.
There is nothing lige a good anime to make you smile. :P (And a person you can talk to about it ;p)

fishy post

Mar. 26th, 2009 08:00 pm
aniay: (Default)
There is this bright shadr of past that i can't rid of.
It's permanently stuck in my heart splitting it in two.
Every day and almost every night it breaks my heart making me ache so badly I almost cry.

I wish this shard could once again became a beautiful stained glass it once were. It's impossible for so many reasons.

My friend told me to throw away a thing that still connected the shard with the past. It's so hard, so painful to destroy this conection, thousand's 'what ifs' are stopping me from severing the link.

Why do I have to cry over a string of numbers?
Why have I created the stained glass when it was sure it will be eventually destroyed.
Why have I picked up this shard?

I need some love and tenderness. I can't live without a hug.
aniay: (Default)
My work is exhausting me, after two days of working about 20 hours straight with only 4 hours sleep I'm almost dead. I caught some sleep today and I had a rather nice dream.

You know my dreams are sometimes continuous, as if i watched another episode of some story.

And there is this story about Vegarians - the aliens who helps people to discover and control their psychic abilities.

People who has contorl over their abilities already and can communicate directly with Vegarians are called Vegans and they are an Elite of the Human Race.
In this story I'm usually one of the Vegans who leads pople to the chamber below the surface of earth where the alien Teachers wait for humans to teach them.
Today I was my own daughter, and I had an exam which was supposed to decide if I can learn or not. An ugly exam, really, containing drowning, killing, kidnaping etc.


There is this scene in my head with Twins and Percy which is screaming at me to write it already but I really don't have strength and time to do it. Today was the second time since last week when I saw my daughter and It's for few hours only :/ I miss her
aniay: (bitchy ouran)
Fuck!
What the hell is happening with YouTube?! One can't even watch a fan-made clip with any background music! It's fucking unbelivable.
I understand it (kinda) but I'm afraid It'll lead to destruction of YT because fandom members will flee it.
I never thouht something like this could happen, and I'm angry I didn't download my favourite ones.
Damn.
aniay: (Default)
Yup, I'm ill, my hubby is and my daughter to. I have a sick-leave to sunday (so probably this work won't last for longer than month, Crap!) But I'm almost daying with 39 degrees teprature in bed, terribly sore throat, full sinuses and awful cough... you can imagine right?
My daughter after three days of going to creche got ill to now she is ill with me and my huuby is ill probably to make aus feel better... or maybe he just cought it from us.
Anyway It's good I have my notebook, or I'd be grounded in my bed without any contacy with the world.

XOXO (or maybe not because you can catch the flu too)
aniay: (Default)
Ok so my free time is gone and if it's not, I sleep it through.
I promise I will try, emphasis on 'try', to write some more Twins-stuff.

I found a job, but only for a month and I start at 5:30 so every time I come back home I'm dead tired.
My daughter started going to creche and she is not to happy about that, and did I mention I'm tired?

Ok so see you soon... or not so soon.
aniay: (bitchy ouran)
I'm currently fighting with lot's of things. My weight, loss of motivation, my hubby, my plot bunnies (which scattered all over my head and I can't find them) and i really really hope I'll make it with the exchange story before the dead-line. With so many problems smut-scenes are not writing themselves >_< I'm getting terrible headache every time I try to write something smutty. I'd love to write something twincesty, and there is a perfect song for a songfic with them but first I have to finish this little something with Harry Draco and Charlie. And you know what? It's Charlie who gives me the hardest time, not Draco. Surprise, surprise. Anyway if my headache goes away I'll go to cinema tonight, for 'Eagle eye'.
aniay: (Default)
I feel bleah and ouch and duh and all other uninteligent things.
It's a mind-bug I call Bubuś. (You pronounce it like buhbuh or sth)
I have to write and after reading the article about the plot and I feel I can't write, and I have period and I really have enough and I need a kick of positive an creative energy.
aniay: (Default)
Ok so for those interested me and my hubby are getting better. Shish, but it was hard, after all shit that was going on we went to a cinema (Hubby works there and I have free pass 5 days a month ;D) and laughted to tears on "Don't mess with Zohan"(Nie zadzieraj z Fryzjerem) Really Stupid Commedy, really.

And on Sunday we were at Biskupin at Archeological 'Outoor Party' (I have no idea how it's called in english) But there is generally lots of people dressed in ancient-like clothing, there are shows, exhibitions, lots of souvenirs, lots of fastfood and ancien-like food, lotteries and other stuff.
It was cold and windy and rain could fall any second but we drove over 100km because this year the theme of the fest was Japan (YAY!!)
There was beautifull exhibition (small though), one could see real Tea-rituall (, see some martial arts and (Drums please!) Try on a real kimono!



My Olie decided to do it as well ^_____^


It was gorgeous day


Olie rode a ponny, was a little scared


Me and my hubby tried to use the bow (we both failed miserably), My hubby made himself his own coin. And my mum was happy grandma running after Olie ;D
And this was the day that lifted the weight off my shoulders finally.

And now I'm happy little girl so I'm doing stupid quizzes Like this one:

Hell But I like the result!








You Scored as Fred and George Weasley

If you went to Hogwarts you would be doing the Weasley Twins. Oooo damn! You are freaky! You are a hell of a women to take on the Weasley twins. Double time!
Go head girl, go head get down!



Fred and George Weasley

80%

Ron Weasley

70%

Draco Malfoy

55%

Cedric Diggory

40%

Harry Potter

35%

No one, your a prude

35%

Victor Krum

25%

Percy Weasley

10%




aniay: (Default)
I've just threw away my hubby from home. ;_; And I wasn't meaning it.
He made my angry and I reciprocted.
When I tried to talk with him, like we usually do he said he don't want to listen, so I said I don't want to see him.
Off he went.*heads desk*
Fuck! He is to stubborn for his own good and I'm to vicious for mine.
I'm in need in a warm hug.
Anyone?

RL ranting

Jul. 16th, 2008 10:26 pm
aniay: (Default)
So I have a job (shop selling moto-parts), I'm helping in the laundry and in the office as well. It's pretty nice job and after it I feel so full of energy, and self-confidence, I think I'm glowing with it:P
My mother in law just put a needle in my ballon of good ennergy and my dad tooday puuled it out, i felt like all of positivenes pfffff'ed out of me.
I feel angry, because he said he don't trust me and my hubby, and when I understand lack of trust towards me, my hubby is the most trustworthy person I've ever knew.
God I need to see him finally and hug him and kiss him and do all this things, my mind supplies my dreams with, to him. I miss him and I'm horny. Jizzz why the world is made of shitty rules that make young people be separated from their loved ones only because they have to live.


CHanging the subject, sixth chapter of ST is off to beta seventh is already writing itself ;)
aniay: (bitchy_hitsu)
I've just so completely fucked up my relationship. And the reason is completely unimportant as well. I want to cry and hit my head with something hard *Bad Ann, Bad Ann!*
Trust is veeeery fragile thing. One tiny thing and you can broke everything you have been building for years.
FUCK!
aniay: (Default)
My washing machine is slightly overworked today, seven loads of laundry today... And I feel hmmm tired and blah and I really hate doing dishes.
Weather decided to boil us in our own sweat and I really miss colder Ireland.
My head is kinda empty right now and I feel a need to fill it up with something.
Blah
aniay: (bitchy ouran)
So the packages from Ireland are finally here and I'm knda terrified, because everything smells. Ireland is humid, everyone knows that, but one didn't realise how much humid, until it can be comapred with something.
Every single piece of clothing has some traces of mould on them (sometimes it's just smell, but sometimes there are spots, that usually are completly uncleanable).
After sorting mine and my daughter's clothes, I smell too.. UGH! >_< I don't have strenght to write and The Twins are being stubborn, again. Live sucks...

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